now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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