mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
