I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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