Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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