I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
