Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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