I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
two words: eviction party
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize