I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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