im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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