You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
