none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
