O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
