Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
