I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize