im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
