I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
