What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
