So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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