Screwed.edu
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
