Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
