make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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