So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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