there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize