speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
