walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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