Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
