I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
