Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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