everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
