Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
