my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
