batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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