i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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