I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
