Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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