Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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