Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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