at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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