I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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