I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
