You made me cry and you don't even care
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
