Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
