5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
