speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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