What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
