i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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