I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
