i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
home. puking in laundry basket.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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