I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
