part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
