she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
