My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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