It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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