dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
