I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
