I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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