Who did Billy Mays play for?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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