so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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