hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
