We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
