mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
